Category Archives: Inner Success

Inner Success

Staying Connected

The COVID-19 outbreak has instituted new daily habits for everyone I know, whether you are like me and mandated to stay home and or you are like my friend Melissa, in the medical field, working longer, harder hours than before to keep us safe.  Either way, we are all restricted in our ability to physically connect with one another.

These restrictions may exacerbate an already growing problem for us and/or our loved ones: social isolation. Social isolation can (but does not have to) lead to loneliness.  I believe limiting physical interaction does not mean stopping all social interaction, in fact I have seen some people around me building up their social game in the last couple of weeks. I want to share with you a few ways my friends are becoming more connected than before.

  • Do an online workout. Choose from one of the thousands of fitness routines available on YouTube or from a local fitness instructor and work out together, but in separate locations, with your exercise buddy. I have been touring all sorts of scenic places around the world, by watching youtube videos while I run on the treadmill too!
  • Read a book to a niece or nephew or neighborhood kid via video chat. I saw someone in the community doing a virtual book reading – it was such a great gesture.
  • Have a virtual house party by downloading the house party app and adding your friends.  It is great fun and you can play trivia games together. My friend Meredith and I can really get the giggles over stuff like this!
  • Volunteer online. This is a great way to do good for others right from your home. Options include supporting projects at the United Nations, assisting the Smithsonian Institution, or helping people in need at the Crisis Text Line.
  • Host a virtual get-together. If you can’t meet your friends in person move the gathering online via a group video chat.  There are TONS of platforms to use – pick your favorite. My friends are meeting Thursdays at 4:30 (like in college) and doing a virtual happy hour – loving it! Plus we are keeping our local wine shop in business. #winning
  • Teach others your skills. If you’ve been waiting to show the world your special talents, now’s your chance. Use your phone to create short teaching videos and post these online.  Maybe you will be the next Martha Stewart or Tim the Toolman with your mad skills!
  • Writing letters: I have attached a copy of a letter and photo that a friend sent me this week.  oooh, this warmed my sweet heart! Thanks Misty!

As all the commercials on television have said this week.. Apart, we are in this together.  If you have other suggestions for how we can do this crazy life together – while separated – leave me a post!

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Inner Success

As the World Turns

I must confess I have seen more forwards, memes, and surveys in the last four weeks than I have probably ever seen or taken the time to stop and pay attention to. It is not that I have a great deal of more free time but I feel like this intrusion of our work life into our personal life has opened the doors to more personal interactions and side jokes and forwards.

Here is forward that triggered the thoughts of just how interrelated we all are, whether small town or large, whether big business or small.

a stimulus package in simple terms

It is a slow day in the small Saskatchewan town of Pumphandle, and streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.
A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk, saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night. As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. 
The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer. 
The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op. 
The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her “services” on credit. 
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner. 
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything. 
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves. 
No one produced anything. No one earned anything…   However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a Stimulus package works.

When I read this forward and thought about the celebration of Easter, for those Christian readers, I think back to the debts I owe. What debts have been forgiven or deferred or lightened during these times of COVID19? What debts have I forgiven or can I forgive during these times. Together we are all impacted by the Stimulus package whether we know it or not, whether we see it or not.

These times take forgiveness and grace. May we all be be #supportivewithoutapology! In it together, from afar my friends, this is how the world goes round. If this triggered thoughts for you about how to pay your indebtedness or to forgive some one else’s debt, please comment below and share this message to others.

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Inner Success

Women: Raise Your Hand

Once again I remind you of a statistic I referenced in my book, The Ten Commandments of #SuccessWithoutApology: Men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them.

I have copied a link to an article by Tara Sophia Mohr in the Harvard Business Review titled, Why Women Don’t Apply for Jobs Unless They’re 100% Qualified. I believe it is a great read and today I want to urge you to apply, raise your hand, go get the job you aren’t sure you are fully qualified to have. Test your theory – apply and see if you can get the job.

Just last month I accepted a phone call for a job that I felt I was less than qualified to take, but the truth is that I am just as qualified as anyone else who would raise their hand… I was just as qualified as any man.

I believe, as this article states that some of our lack of advancement in careers and professions is simply because we don’t ask for the promotion soon enough. We don’t raise our hard for the job because we feel we aren’t qualified. Well it is time to stop being so timid and go get the job we want!

Apply, go get the job.. Let me know how it works out for you by replying to my blog, twitter feed or Linkedin article. I am your cheerleader and I believe you have earned the right to raise your hand!

https://hbr.org/2014/08/why-women-dont-apply-for-jobs-unless-theyre-100-qualified

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Books, Movies, and Stuff, Inner Success, Outward Success

I Am An Author

“Write. Rewrite. When not writing or rewriting, read. I know of no shortcuts.”
—Larry L. King, WD

Amen to that Larry!

It has taken me almost two years to hear the words, Congratulations, your book is published.  Today, I announce that I am now a published author and books will be available soon.  While I may not have my biography presented on goodreads or Wikipedia, I will now state that I am an author on my resume.  I wrote, rewrote, erased, read more, rewrote, and then rewrote again.  It took time.  It caused tears and it was hard.  It may have been the hardest project I have ever undertaken.  But, it is finished.  I am published!

Those of you who have been reading this blog while I worked on the book, you know some of my story.  You know I want the women of today’s world to be empowered to voice their opinion, to do success their own way, and to stop fearing rejection.  With this book, I am a student of my own advice.  (Though scary), I will not fear rejection.  I will not apologize for my opinions and my vision.  I have laid them out for everyone to criticize or to love, and I am okay with either one.

Thank you to everyone who has helped along the way, and thank you to my girlfriends who gave me the courage to commit my words to writing.   Help me change the world by ordering a book and sharing the message.

 

 

 

 

 

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Inner Success

Be You, Do Right, Keep Moving

“I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature.” – John D. Rockefeller

Perseverance is vital to long-term success. As the richest man of his time, John D. Rockefeller knew that nothing of importance is built without much hard work. To do so, the work and focus must be intentional and consistent  – no matter the task.

In each of us is the potential to be successful, and with focus, a specific mindset, and a vision of your goal to become truly unstoppable you can tap into it.

Begin with Your Game Plan

In life, you can’t stand still, you must always move forward, lest you go backwards. The most direct path of advancement is sometimes not easy to ascertain, and often has multiple speed bumps.  Rather than view these hurdles as setbacks, allow the moments of learning to develop your strengths. If Rockefeller’s father hadn’t been such a cheat, John may not have learned how to make the most out of working, wouldn’t have saved his money, and wouldn’t have become a revered philanthropist. The adversity and hurdles from within his own family taught him to adapt, overcome, and change the world by how he lived.

Like Rockefeller, forget the excuses and persevere! Here’s are five strategies to help keep you focused on moving forward:

  1. Start with what you know. Sometimes your biggest pain or heartache is the very answer to your life goal. What do you seek to improve or change? To that end, think about what you can do right where you are TODAY, regardless of your age, training, expertise, or lack thereof.
  2. Develop yourself. Maybe you have a specific hobby or passion, or have a skill or two. Whatever those are, do them with the purpose of honing your talent. How can you do them better? What other activities can you do to support your growth?
  3. Strive for the greater good. Pursue each goal, not at the expense of others, but with them.  Never forget who helped you, and who continued to motivate you. In your trials, your source of encouragement often is who / want you want to emulate for others in their times of need.  Another quote from Mr. Rockefeller, “Next to doing the right thing, the most important thing is to let people know you are doing the right thing.”  What I often find is that others cannot recognize your good deeds as honest and good.  It is okay to tell them.  It is okay to tell people you are doing the right thing for the right reasons, and not assume they know.
  4. Be prepared to fail. Failure often comes before significant achievement. At times we are paralyzed by analysis.  At some point you have to jump, submit the manuscript, buy the business, or empower the employee to try it their own way. Growth will be stifled if the fear of failure prohibits your ability to recognize opportunity.
  5. Keep moving. After each completed goal, plan for another and another to keep your momentum going. Idleness begets laziness, the effects of which can undo your hard work, trading perseverance for selfishness. But by making an investment toward your goals each day, your mind stays active, your heart stays open, and your life will reap a legacy that inspires us all.

As the end of the year sneaks upon us, are you able to take a little time to reflect on the goals you have accomplished this year?  Can you complete this year’s goals by end of year?  Will you set goals for 2018 and how do you need to develop yourself to prepare for opportunity in 2018?

 

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Inner Success, Outward Success

Mentorship Is My Purpose

The year is 1995, and I, Rachael Row, enter the WMU dorms on the campus of Oklahoma Baptist University to begin the pursuit of purpose.  I am a stranger on this campus, unfamiliar with the town or the school, but ready to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Fast forward four years through the track and field career and a Health and Physical Education & Recreation degree, and the entrepreneurial journey begins.  A few career changes, some life experience, and a network of professionals from around the world, and believe it or nor, I am on purpose more than ever!

Because I know who I am and exactly what I am supposed to be doing with my life, I will walk back onto the Oklahoma Baptist University campus, this time as a mentor. I am going to share my understanding of my purpose and my personal brand to young women who are finishing the final leg of their college journey.

Tomorrow night I will use and share my gifts and talents. I have been asked to, not only be a mentor for this year, but also to speak at the inaugural kick off dinner of Lydia’s Lamp Mentorship program for young women on campus.  I am very honored to be a leader in the program, which has been titled in honor of Lydia, the influential and successful businesswoman mentioned only two times in the Bible.

Lydia met Paul and Silas while they were in Philippi and she took time out of her busy schedule to listen to them.  After listening and accepting the gospel, she persuaded Paul and Silas to stay in her home, according to Acts 16:15.  Lydia may have been the first Gentile converted to Christianity in Europe and she may also have been the first businesswoman to open her home as a worship center for European Christians.  Lydia, like women of today, was both a domestic and corporate goddesses.

When speaking to the young women who have entered this mentor program, I will challenge them to grow their personal brand and to grow their network – intentionally and without apology.  You see I am so blessed to have had great mentors early in my career who prepared me to live out my purpose.  I am meant to carry that forward and to mentor other women.  Everything I have done, leading up to this day, has been to prepare me for the role of mentor.  Over the last couple weeks, as I prepared for this presentation, I have been so lucky to have heard from a few wonderful women, whom I have mentored, and am abundantly proud of!

Kara, from New York City, made a significant life decision to step away from the corporate chase to raise her child and support her husband.  Fhionna, from Oklahoma, moved half way across the country to pursue her search for meaning and purpose.  And Shannon, now in Chicago, whom I met eight years ago on this same OBU campus, mailed a heart warming thank you note to me. She thanked me for the mentorship I provided her as she progressed through college and later took a leap of faith joining a start up business. I am so blessed by the success of these young women.

Tomorrow I want to do my best, not only for the women listening live, but also to honor those girls who have trusted me for years as their mentor and friend.  As my mentees grow up, take on the world in their own way, my universe of friendship and network expands.  I want to remind women that if you have “made it” be sure you are mentoring others, if you are on the way, bring someone with you, and if are just beginning – find a mentor and build relationships with those that have come before you.

Every mentorship expands your sphere of influence.  And research suggests that one of the largest indicators of a woman’s success is her network.  So you see, mentorship, networking, and success go hand in hand! #GoForthAndMentor

 

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Inner Success

You Can Choose

Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.

Abraham Lincoln

American president Abraham Lincoln’s (born February 12, 1809) favorite childhood books included: Aesop’s Fables, Robinson Crusoe, and Benjamin Franklin’s Autobiography.

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Inner Success, Outward Success, Uncategorized

Beyonce’ Sings My Thoughts

 

Sometimes my thoughts come out in Beyonce’s songs and I am not sure how that happens.  Most recently, her song Flawless, brashly and aggressively paints the picture of our twisted support of successful women.  Here are a few of the lyrics that were PG enough for me to post.

We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girlsImage_woman_shame
“You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man”

Society wants women to be successful, but not so successful they outshine men, hmmm. We all know this.  We may not want to know this – but we do. We, ambitious women, know it before we are able to articulate it. Academic research, to a certain extent, confirms our instincts.  And a great blog post , written by Rebecca Ruiz earlier this year, confirms no one is immune to these cultural barriers, not even world famous celebrities like Taylor Swift.

With the actions of Kanye and other male chauvinist men aside, why are women, like me and you, not taking credit for our day-to-day accomplishments? Why do women not receive the necessary credit for their own success?  In a single word: Judgement.  We want the success, but the judgement is real and it hurts.  So we deflect the success and the credit to avoid the judgement.

I was sitting around visiting with friends when a woman shared with me that she does not ever mention the fact that she earned a law degree around her work peers because in her experience if she has mentioned it, she felt judged and almost shunned her for her higher education.  #ItsRealPeople #WomenJudgeWomen

How do we stop the judgement?  It starts with us! We must stop judging each other.  Here are two scenarios and I want you to see yourself listening in each conversation.

Scenario 1: You are in town for a couple days and decide to catch up with an old college girlfriend. When she talks about her career and the travel required for her job, how do you respond?  What questions come to mind to ask her or to further the conversation?  Admit it, you want to ask if she ever sees her children, or how her husband handles being home alone so much.  You may even ask, how do possibly get any rest?

Scenario 2: Have you ever sat across from a man who talked of his success and thought to ask him how his wife felt about having to be the sole parent while he traveled?   No, more likely, you thought, wow he must make great money.  I bet his wife and kids are set and don’t have to work.  That’s more “normal.”

I have been guilty of this for decades, and I am committed to stop judging.  I know women can succeed and they can accept the credit for their hard work, without feeling guilty.  Can you accept the credit for your accomplishments, degrees or salary?

When your children show great respect, take credit for great parenting!  When you are told what a great teacher you are, say thank you.  When you lead a team through the execution of a project that earns the company millions of dollars, accept the accolades.  When you earn a huge bonus – gloat.  🙂 Do not shrink yourself.

For our children and for all women who want to succeed after you, please take credit for your success. Little girls and young women need to see women who receive credit for their accomplishments.  Accept the credit, and the judgement for the evolution of our society.

Do it now.  Change begins with you and your time is now.  Steve Jobs has a quote I’d like to use to encourage an urgency. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

Follow your heart.  Expect the judgement. Accept the credit. Create a legacy.  #successwithoutapology

 

 

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Inner Success, Outward Success

Are You Unfairly Labeled Bossy?

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“I think putting labels on people is just an easy way of marketing something you don’t understand.”  Adam Jones

Speaking of marketing, check out Pantene’s  commercial about labels on men and women. Pantene brings to life the quote of Mr. Jones by demonstrating how quickly we label women unfairly.  We are guilty of unfairly labeling women in leadership roles because we are ignorant of the complexity of their work, emotions, and vulnerability.   Have you ever been mislabeled bossy, when only being a stern boss?  I have for sure!

The best thing I have learned over the years is to be honest with yourself about your personality quirks and other peoples’ perceptions/labels of you, even if you feel they are incorrect. Recognize how others label you and more importantly be able to communicate how you would like to be described.  If you can label yourself properly, it will often help others understand you better.  For example, in brainstorming sessions I remind stakeholders in the room, “Hey I am in sales – sometimes I don’t know how to have a conversation without selling my ideas or thoughts.  It doesn’t mean I am right or that I am absolutely sold on my own idea, I just can’t help but sell you when it comes out of my mouth.”  So the next thing I tell them is, “Don’t let me SELL you on a policy or an idea if you know I am wrong.”  And I mean it.  By stating this up front, I may not appear as pushy or dominant as we contemplate the various ideas.

This video is a reminder to me that some labels are accurate and some just wrong!  So regardless of the label, be aware of the fact that you are being labeled.  Don’t hide from the labels, but rather face them and choose to own them, correct them, or live up to them.

I used to be labeled as bossy, but over the years I have learned to change people’s perception to think of me more as a delegator.   🙂 No really it is true, friends say  I delegate better than anyone they know.  I figured out how to change what I say from: “Mike – go get the rental car for our trip” to something like “Mike, since you are arriving earlier would you mind picking up the rental car for us?”  Ahhhh – all in the delivery ladies, all in the delivery.

So let me encourage you to make note of the labels people have on you.  Decide whether you like those labels or want to change them; decide if they are within your control to change or not.  I didn’t like being bossy, so I worked on my delivery.  I own the fact that I am salesy, so I educate those around me to not let that get us in trouble.

How do you handle the labels?  Please – take the time to tell me about a label that has been placed on you.  Tell me – how did you handle it?  Did you own it, fight it, or work to change it?  I truly want to know!

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